your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
