You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
another moral hangover. fuck.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
