I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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