Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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