I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
