I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
