Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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