Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
