She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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