I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
