I wannas sexs uuuuu
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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