And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
