Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
