I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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