Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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