I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
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