The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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