? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Randomize
