tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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