i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
