3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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