we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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