I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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