yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
