Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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