he shaved USA in his pubs
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
