I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
where does the pee come out of this thing
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
