We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
