well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize