A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Green mimosas i think yes
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
