If i come over, it means nothing
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
