He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize