I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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