Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
