There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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