If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Mom said you looked used
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
