Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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