It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
