He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
