he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
