she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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