i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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