Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
