last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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