i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
