If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize