How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
