Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Your penis caused this!
Randomize