I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
