so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
they need to just BURY HIM!
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
