On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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