the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
