its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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