we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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