Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Someone shit on the floor
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
