put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
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