I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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